I had made a certain life-changing decision after mulling about it for a few years prior to that. My parents were very concerned as I was about to embark on a path least taken. I prayed long and hard. You have no idea how many times I looked to the heaven and asked Him 'Which way, Lord?'. And there were times when I begged Him for signs, at least some form of affirmation that what I intended to embark on was in accordance to His will.
He was very quiet.
What was I to do?
I was sure the desires He planted in my heart was aligned to the ultimate purpose He had for me. But I was scared to take the first step. At the same time, I could no longer bear to stay where I was. I felt the burden of not moving, staying where I was, weighing on me. And ,I felt surely if I did not take that step, I would drown. So I braced myself, and stepped out of my comfort zone.
Although, at that point, I was still unsure if the decision I made was right, in my heart I knew, even if it was the wrong one, He will always be there, at every steps.
And so, the journey began. Its was a period of self discovery, one of the hardest for me, thus far.
A couple of years later, I remember going through a rough time and had hit rock bottom, I felt angry at Him. I was angry because, with all of my being, I knew He loved me, but how could He allow life to be so hard? Why wouldn't He cut me some slack? The initial certainty, that He is with me at every step, were no longer there.
How was it possible, something which I felt compelled to do, brought me such pain? How could something that brings that much pain, be of any good?
Just like any other girl, when depressed, one day I went for retail therapy. Leaving the house that day, I did not intend to buy anything particular, but just needing to be 'somewhere'.. Aimlessly, I walked around, and then came to a quaint little shop. I went in, and slowly looked around, admiring the little knick-knacks that they have on the shelves.
Then something caught my eye. I went closer to the shelf and saw this cute little saucer. What I read, written on it, was a verse from the Bible. And that was the first time I read that verse.
Finally, His answer, not via words shaped clouds or neon signs in the sky, but printed on teeny weeny saucer. I bought the little saucer, obviously. For the first time since I stepped out of my comfort zone, that day, I felt calm and once again, certain.
Now, more than seven years fast forward from the blessed day, whenever I have doubts about where life would bring me, I would look at this little saucer bearing His promise.
And how my heart would sing;
"Then sings my soul, my Saviour, God to Thee. How great Thou art, how great Thou art.."
