Now, that's serendipity..: She is finally free...

Being so far away from home is always difficult when something huge happened.

Having just moved to another continent and not being around when my maternal grandmother passed away on 31 August 2014 was a blow for me.

No doubt I have bid my farewell to her before I left, knowing fully well that it might be last time I see her. But it was still hard.

She had never been the same since her stroke in 2010. She had to be sent to a nursing home as she was in a semi comatose state. Whenever I visited her it breaks my heart that I don't hear her call me 'Sayang Inik' anymore.

You see, she has 19 grandchildren and yet able to make each and every one of us feel like we are her favourite. At least to me, that is. That was her gift. Not to mention her super green fingers. She loves flowers and when she was healthy tending to her flowers and orchids were her favourite past time. Of course second to fussing over her grandkids.

My very first and earliest memory of her was sitting by her sewing machine and sewing away while she tried to teach me to sing 'Rasa Sayang' song. But she had her own way of singing it. It was 'Sasayang hey, sasayang saying hey'. I still can hear her laughter when I got the wordings wrong.

She was a very happy person. Her heart was full of love.

When she had her stroke, she was no longer the same Inik that I know. She would look at me but did not recognise me. And that was heartbreaking. Each and every time. I know she could not help it, but still, I did not know how to handle it. Then the visits to the nursing home became less frequent as it was really hard for me to see her in that condition.

So my last visit was to tell her that I was moving to a very far away place; and I told her I loved her. I was not sure if it registered with her.

As much as it was hard to let her go, I am relieved that she is finally free. I know she would not want to be in that semi comatose state for too long.

In my mind's eyes, I see her walking towards me with her umbrella and commenting on how gorgeous and fat the Japanese rose which she gave me turned out to be.. Just like old times. When she was still able to have her evening walks to my place not far from hers.

I see her laughing again.

Oh, I must say I 'inherited' my obsession with hydrangea from her.. And now I love it even more because it reminds me of her.