Learning to be still

So, I sat for the exam last Saturday. The result is expected to be to out in a couple of weeks. I have done the best I know how.

I learnt over the course of last week, that my anxiety came from fear. Fear of failure to achieve 'The target'.  

Truth be told, I could not afford  to fail in this. Literally.

I was so anxious, that I fell sick. My hubby and a dear friend keep telling me not to stress over it. Intellectually, I understood that. But, I was far from it. In the storm of my anxiety, the verse 'Be still', keep popping up. I am not quite sure how to describe this, but despite the anxiety that goes on in my head, deep within my heart, there is a 'place' that felt very calm and peaceful. It wasn't until I was all spent from anxiety, that I took note of this 'sense'. It has been there all along, except I seem to allow my anxiety took over rather than focusing on what matters.

That was when I told myself to 'follow that peace'. The moment I followed it, *click!*, the anxiety was gone. Once I followed 'that peace', the thought of failing to achieve even became bearable. The thought no longer made me want to gorge my eyes out of its sockets in panic. Huh, wadaya know...

So, 'followed the peace', I did. Last Saturday, as I waited for us to be allowed to enter the exam room, I prayed to the Heavenly Father that I was entering the room because I know He is in there too. The exam went fine. I have no idea if I am able to achieve the target, but at least I managed to finished on time, sans diva drama.

Now we wait, and be still.