Today..

For the past couple of years, I subscribed to two wonderful blogs that inevitable impacted my life today.The first was  Rare and Beautiful Tresure. I was drawn to the blogger's voice{choice of words, to be precise} because she sounded so soothing. I was at point of my life where I was constantly bombarded with negative vibes, negative words, being put/looked down upon, being lied to, etc, but was clueless as to how I should handle it.

When I first read her blog, her words were so soothing to my soul and what scared me in a way was, how 'foreign' that seemed to me. I have not 'heard' that in a very long time. It only occur to me then, how conditioned I had been to receiving/ accepting all things negative in my life. And it made me realised how much I needed some form of gentle influences in my life, instead; for I was getting very tired and weary.

Once I have started following the 'gentle' path, there would be times when I find that it was so hard to keep a positive outlook. It was like whenever you try to stay afloat, you feel you keep drowing. Then I came across this wonderful blog Positively Present.

The blogger shared a very critical part about being positive.

Always surround yourself with people who bring you up. Choose not to be around people that cause you to be unhappy. Sadly, you're probably around a few people that bring you down, not up. If you find people in your life bringing you down -- yes, even family members or significant others -- find a way to separate yourself from them. If you want to live a truly positive life, you must be surrounded by positive influences.

 I realised then, that in order for me to stay afloat and breathe, I need to separate myself from people who seemed to suck all form of joys out of daily lives or those who are intent in finding faults as if there was a reward for it. It was not an easy feat if the person is someone you are close to.

But when you have reached a point where you could no longer bear being lied to or told half truths, or looked down upon; you will decide that enough is enough. While it is very convenient to just point at the other person and say, 'Oh he's/she's the jerk', it certainly takes more effort to work internally and ask your self, 'What are you going to do about it?'.

Then you will realise that you deserve better.

That is when you will love yourself enough to only surround yourself with those who will bring you up.

(Pinterest)

You would naturally choose to let go of any negative influences in your life.

(Pinterest)

And so today I am a much happier person than I was before..

(Pinterest)

Thanks to the wonderful blogger Erin & Dani.

Wordless Thursday



Yipeeee!

The FINAL Step in Part 1 of the Decision has been approved!!

For those readers (Yes, I do pretend I have more than 1 follower *wink*), who have been wondering what this Decision is all about, do bear with me a little bit more. I promise I will share with you once the whole process have been finalised. As in finalised in my favor, of course. 

The main reason why I have been very cryptic about this 'Decision'  on this blog is because it is a very personal journey for me. Only my immediate family and my two angels knows about it, (even then, my own parents are thinking this is just a phase I am going through, since I have not talked about it anymore since I announced my 'Decision'.)


But for today, I just want to record it here, that I am happy to have reached this stage.

Thank you Father God. Amen..

Not quite there yet

It's Monday

{CAUTION : Read at own risk. Writer was sleepy when she wrote this entry.  You may note the absence of the head or tail (more likely the tail) of this entry. }

I am exhausted today not because of Monday blues, but I am finally back from a work assignment over the weekend. I had been planning and coordinating this weekend since late last year and I am so happy that it is finally over; and I can breathe easier now, too.

I am glad and thankful that everything went well. Since I am close to dosing off right now,{ and am having problem constructing sentences to make a good blog content due to sleep deprivation} I will just share some of the photos I took while I had a little time to myself, exploring the venue.

I love the ginormous painting at the lobby.

 

Pacific Sutera, Kota Kinabalu

Magellan Sutera's gorgeos swimming pool

 

Zoom shot of the man made waterfall by the pool.

View of the marina right across the pool

Water so clear, you can see cute school of little fish swimming by..

Some more fish..

Sea urchins(!!!) Lots of them too..

View of the marina

Lest you question I was actually there, here's a shot of my chunky legs.. (hehe)

Gorgeous yacths.

My attempt to shoot an artsy shot..

*YAWN*

Me go sleep now..

Disoriented

I finally received word on the result of Part 1 of my 'Decision' yesterday evening.

It has been approved.  With that, we can proceed with Part 2 in making the 'Decision', a dream coming true. It should be a happy occasion, right? Hence why the above title, you might ask.

The major reason why I agreed with the 'Decision' was because of the 'pull' of a place. The place where I planted my dream. Now, had I not been to that place, I'd be contend being where I am, till Jesus' second coming.

However, I have been there; and while staring out into the horizon (literally) I asked myself,  "Why not live an adventure? Live on a edge a little, Scaredy Cat."

Hence, the 'Decision', came to be.

Since then, I have been focusing my internal telescope to this place. There were little bumps along the way, but the my internal telescope need not swing more than the length of a grasshopper's ankle to its knees.

However yesterday's news, totally jarred my orientation. While the result have been what hubby and I had hoped for, however the option given was totally unexpected. I asked Him why can't I be there? Guess what I saw on my Pinterest feed?

So here I am, still reeling from disorientation from this 'redirection'. I am not going to pretend that I am not scared.

I am. {Very..} It is not exactly what I wanted, though somewhat close. I am  not mentally prepared for the option I have.

However I am comforted by below;

It sure is easier to trust Him, when things are going our way. But when He redirects us and tell us 'No', I'd be lying to say I am not nervous.

Nervous, because all I ask is string of plastic pearls to play with. I am contend with plastic pearls and mud pies.

While He is telling me to let it go, so that He could put a real mother of pearls in my hands.

I asked for an adventure, didn't I?.. Ready to ride this adventure with me? .. :)

{You have your seat belt on? Wait, first you need to help me let go of my grip on my plastic pearls}..

Do not live a half life

 

 

Do not love half lovers
Do not entertain half friends
Do not indulge in works of the half talented
Do not live half a life and do not die a half death

If you choose silence, then be silent

When you speak, do so until you are finished
Do not silence yourself to say something
And do not speak to be silent

If you accept, then express it bluntly
Do not mask it

If you refuse then be clear about it
for an ambiguous refusal
is but a weak acceptance

Do not accept half a solution

Do not believe half truths

Do not dream half a dream

Do not fantasize about half hopes

Half a drink will not quench your thirst

Half a meal will not satiate your hunger

Half the way will get you no where

Half an idea will bear you no results

Your other half is not the one you love
It is you in another time yet in the same space

It is you when you are not

Half a life is a life you didn't live,
A word you have not said

A smile you postponed
A love you have not had
A friendship you did not know

To reach and not arrive
Work and not work

Attend only to be absent

What makes you a stranger to them closest to you

and they strangers to you

The half is a mere moment of inability

but you are able for you are not half a being

You are a whole that exists
to live a life not half a life

 

-Gibran Khalil Gibran-